Today’s #BeKind21 message is brought to you by our partners at Thoughtful Human.

My journey with grief has been long and complex and I will not sugarcoat it — losing my favorite human was as bad as I had expected, and then a little worse.

In the beginning, it was that sharp, incessant pain. It was waves of panic, apathy, delusion. It was early mornings with lucid dreams, and late nights thinking about the life we used to have. It was an endless sprint — trying to stay busy and surrounded by people and things to outrun the depths of my sadness and the racing thoughts. This went on, for years. But the conversations about it — about him, about grief, about depression, and the ways in which my whole family was struggling — they didn’t.

Had everyone forgotten? Did they just not care anymore?

And that was the funny or not so funny thing about it — of course they remembered. Of course they cared. They were all just doing what we all do — tiptoeing around the uncomfortable stuff. More and more I started to realize just how deeply ingrained these doubts and assumptions really were — within myself, my community, and our culture. 

A culture that values politeness and superficiality over connection. A culture that says no words are better than the wrong words. A culture that assumes someone struggling with their mental health can simply ask for help. That they will pick up the phone and be able to say the words — I need you. I need help. Sometimes, yes they do. But more often than not, we opt for comfort and let these opportunities pass while so many of us continue to struggle.

Your kindness challenge today: Show up. Reach out and ask the simple questions — again and again — that build trust and foster vulnerability. Send a card, send an email, send a text. And then set a reminder…and keep sending them! Healing can be a long process and your commitment to supporting your loved ones through it will mean so much more than you know. 

Find plantable cards for mental health and other challenges (think cancer, addiction, grief, depression, strained relationships, and more) and learn more about what we do at: thoughtfulhuman.co

In need of immediate, free support? Access or share this one month of free online therapy or these free recovery cards.

With Kindness,

Thoughtful Human

P.S. Invite someone to join the challenge: bornthisway.foundation/bekind21.